Today I am getting up extra early to do what I’ve done hundreds of times before…. But before my run this morning, I will go with my brothers and sister and first walk a simple mile. A mile we’ve all run before, yet it’s a first for all of us. We know the route like the back of our hands, but it’s still brand new. This special mile, while it will remind us all that our hearts have broken wide open, will bring us even closer together. This mile is in honor of our Dad. It was the last mile he ever ran on this earth two short weeks ago. We will meet at the elementary school, where he started, and we will walk this mile together at 6:07am, the exact moment he began running his last mile. We will both mourn his loss and celebrate him in a way that only we can….

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. We love you so much.

From: Kip Clark

Date: May 28, 2010 8:39:39 PM CDT

To: Jen Clark

Subject: Re: you

Yup, I know that.

On May 28, 2010, at 8:39 PM, Jen Clark wrote:

Love u.



The world I cling to…

Is the world where you will always walk with me.

Dad – You titled this photo “Love”….. and while no words are being spoken there was so much being said. Constant, unconditional, absolute. I miss you so much.

My brothers, my sister and I somehow managed to stand up and speak at Dad’s services yesterday. Here is what I said and if you want to read Jeff’s, it’s here. Traci’s. Ryan’s.

It is very apparent my Dad was loved by so many people, and many of you are here today. He would be proud that you are all here honoring his life.

I have been told many times over the past few days how blessed we were to have such an awesome father and how clear it was from the outside looking in how much he loved his family. I am here to tell you that we WERE blessed, and we were doubly blessed because we all recognized how special our Dad was. Mostly not out loud with words and certainly not often enough, but as you’ve heard from my younger brother, my sister, and my brother-in-law, there was never any doubt with any of us that we loved each other, and we loved each other completely. Dad knew we loved him and we knew he loved us.

My Dad wrote a poem for me in the summer before I was born.

To Jennifer, My Unborn Daughter

Conceived in love, in love you shall live.

You’re a dream now, but soon you will live.

And when you do, my daughter, you’ll find,

A Mother who loves you, who is sweet and kind.

You’ll grow and learn, through much love and care,

And I’m sorry to say, that I won’t be there.

But your Mother will teach you,

And soon you will know,

Who Daddy is, and why he had to go.

Someday, my Daughter, sweet moments we’ll share,

And you’ll learn to love me and know that I care.

When that day comes, such happiness we’ll find,

I’ll treat you so good, dear, I’ll treat you so kind.

I’ll buy you a dress, I’ll buy you a doll,

And Daddy will always be there, when ‘ere you fall.

Someday, you’ll read this and how strange it will feel,

To know that before your birth, to me, you were so real.

Till then, my Daughter, sweet Jennifer Lea,

There’s a war going on across the sea,

And your Daddy must serve, so you can be free.

Grow now, my Daughter, in your Mother’s womb,

Protected from this earth, till your time does come.

Sleep now, my Daughter, sweet unborn youth,

I love you so much, in dreams and in truth.

Someday, I will be there, as a Daddy should be,

When I return, your face I will see,

And all my dreams of you will be reality.

Till then, I love you, my Jennifer Lea.

Written in Vietnam, Summer of 1970, by your Daddy

So you see, my Dad was in Vietnam when I was born. I was about 3 months old when he first met me and held me in his arms. And I was almost a year old when he came home from the war for good.  Some will say my Dad spoiled me and I will not disagree. While I don’t remember growing up with the finer material things in life, I do remember growing up in my Dad’s love.  I have lived every single day of my life knowing my Daddy loved me completely, unconditionally, and forever. So you can say to me at any time that my Daddy spoiled me and I will only smile.

I want to share a much more recent writing. This was an email from Dad and we were training for a race. About 6 years ago, we had running bracelets made that had the inscription “together/separately,” as many times this is how we trained. He would run here in Quitman and I would run wherever I was on the road with my job, and we would always report back to each other. So while we may have been separated by the miles, we were always together in spirit. It was indeed special. Here’s what he wrote to me:

“I thought about you much more today while I was running than I normally do. You were there during the entire run.  You encouraged me. During mile one, when the knee was painful, you encouraged me to run through it.  I was glad I did, because the pain completely disappeared. From mile 2 thru mile 12, I was running pain free (except the danged old quads and I knew you would be excited about that!  When I finally pulled up lame at mile who-knows-what, I was disappointed at first and hated it that I was going to have to tell you that I did not make it.  But, then I just knew that there would not be one discouraging word come from your mouth.  I was right.  You are the perfect partner.”

Dad,

I will be thinking about you much more over the coming days than I normally do. You will be there during the entire run. You will encourage me. During this first mile, when my heart is full of pain, you will encourage me to run through it. I’ll be glad I did, even though the pain will never disappear. When I finally pull up lame at mile who-knows-what, I may be disappointed at first, and will hate it that I will have to tell you that I did not make it. But then, I just know there will not be one discouraging word come from your mouth. And I will be right. Because you are the perfect Daddy.

I love you Dad.

I remember sitting in my room with my friends listening to the radio and a song we loved came on…. we’d rush over to the stereo with a blank cassette tape ready and push record. We were not at all concerned with missing the first few beats of the song, and we’d stop recording as the DJ would start to talk – again not something that bothered us in the least! Remember those days?

Fast forward to 2010. Music is everywhere, and the chasm that separates the genres is as vast now as ever. You rarely hear people ask the then-popular question of “what kind of music do you like?” Because now there really is no good answer to that, at least for me. My iTunes collection consists of 8065 songs that, if played without interruption, would continue for 23.3 days without playing the same song twice. Almost a solid month of music!

Along those lines, I want to talk about a few of my favorite music-related things. Working from home has allowed me the capacity to really explore all kinds of things I have been wanting to but lacked the time.

With all the travel I do, I quickly became spoiled by having Sirius satellite radio in most of my rental cars. Who doesn’t love commercial-free music? And they have tons of stations to choose from…. 80s, 90s, jazz, sports, even Oprah!

When we opened Studio Java in Quitman, we would play a station called “The Coffee House” which was mostly acoustic singer-songwriters. It’s still my favorite station on Sirius. If you have satellite radio, check it out!

There’s just not enough positive things to say about Pandora. I fell in love with it instantly. It’s free. You type in the name of an artist/group that you like, and it will not only play songs from them but will then play songs from other artists/groups that are similar. It explains to you why it has chosen those other songs, what makes them similar, etc. So you not only get to enjoy what you KNOW you like, but it also introduces you to new stuff that you DIDN’T know you liked! It’s a win-win and a must-have.

After you’ve fallen head over heels for Pandora, next you will want to introduce yourself to PandoraJam. Oh it’s still all the goodness of Pandora, but this program allows you to RECORD and then it dumps those recorded songs into iTunes for you. Then you can listen to them to decide if you like them enough to keep buy them later. Stellar.

SnowTape and/or Radio Gaga
These are Mac applications, and I’m sure they have similar apps for you PC-users. Seriously sweet way to spend the day working from home with music playing nicely in the background. Both programs allow you to choose a genre you want to listen to, then choose an internet radio station within that genre. It’s how I found my current-favorite station, Chillout Dreams by Digitally Imported. Very nice, relaxing, non-intrusive music that still allows me to concentrate on my work. Did I forget to mention that both of these programs allow you to record the music and dump into your iTunes?

This is a screenshot of Radio Gaga. Click a genre and it shows you internet radio stations from around the world – 10,000+ stations! What a great way to sample all kinds of different music! SnowTape is very similar and for some reason it’s what I’ve been preferring lately. They both allow you to record in high-quality. It’s really just a matter of preference, and I tend to use both. Choice is always good!

So just one last thing, really. I am able to listen to all of this music while sitting at my computer during the day. So surely there is a way to somehow get it in any room in my house…. while in the kitchen, while falling asleep at night, in the family room, etc. Sure, I can take my airport express from room to room and plug in some external speakers. What I had been doing is hooking up external speakers (that required a plug or lots of money for batteries) to my iPhone. My iPhone has Pandora, Sirius, and can stream all those internet radio stations. Sure, this works but isn’t at all convenient. And those of you who really know me know I don’t mind spending money on something that will make my life a little more convenient and therefore better.

Look what I found! The ultimate gadget for the music-lover… It’s called the Logitech Squeezebox Radio and it connects via wi-fi to stream music. It’s internet radio, it’s Sirius radio, it’s Pandora, it’s got seven-day alarms, it’s got a sleep timer, it can connect to Facebook, it can connect to my iTunes library. It’s portable, it has a rechargeable battery pack. And it sounds AMAZING. I took possession last night and within 10 minutes had it all setup with my Chillout Dreams set as favorite #1 followed closely by The Coffee House as #2. I promptly set the sleep timer and slept like a baby…..

Ahhhh, the sound of music…..

One of my favorite things about going to Quitman on Sundays is seeing the girls and how much they love Gamma and Poppy. Living with them, I get to see all the ups and downs of their moodswings, and on Sundays they are always happy, pleasant, and playful. Every Sunday on the ride over, I’ll ask them “Who wants to go to Grandma’s house?” And in unison they both shriek “I DOOOOOO!” They absolutely love it over there, and it warms my heart to see how much they love my mom and dad. I think the reason is because of the relationship I cherish with my own grandma, and it makes me miss my Papa all the more. I remember when it was my face that would light up when I saw “Memaw and Papa!” Because of my own extraordinary grandparents, it has been so special to see the similar bond growing between Addi & Kam and my parents.

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So for the first time in a few years, I will actually get to enjoy tomorrow’s holiday. No traveling for me, no working at all! My new job is going so well, and I am really enjoying it. Not only being at home, but the actual work is challenging and interesting. This past week was spent syncing audio to the class we’ve created… making sure when the voice says “Click here to blah blah blah” that the screen capture is actually clicking there when the voice says to. Fascinating, I know.

Working from home is so awesome for so many reasons…. all the dogs got groomed this week and I was able to just call one day and take them in the next. I got my haircut on Thursday and I didn’t have to schedule it around my travel. The suitcase is in the garage and won’t reappear until February 22. I have found some REALLY cool new music as I’ve been working. I think my next post will be about that….. stay tuned.

Wait, what is this new feeling that’s coming over me? Feels sort of like calmness, contentedness, peace. I think it could be a bit of happiness creeping in……

• Learning a new skill – and YAY it’s software!
• It’s not PowerSchool-specific, so if the day ever comes that I need to look for another job, I have something else to add to my resume.
• I get to do it all from my home office, with little Lu/Joey/Gracie taking turns sitting in my lap.

So here are a few things I’m really excited about that are not work-related, but is a direct result of this new position:

• Calling to make a grooming appointment for the dogs, having full control over when they’ll go because now I am home to take them!
• Getting my haircut in the middle of the week by my stylist here in Tyler.
• Planning meals for the week with Ryan & Traci, who are fantastic cooks!
• Maybe I can have a checkup with the doctor/dentist every now and then?

My goal this week is to come up with a workout/gym schedule that I can easily adhere to. I can go to the TJC gym free of charge, thanks to Ryan! They usually go in the mornings because it’s really the only time they can go, whereas I have the freedom to really go at any time. So I’m hoping to find my motivation and come up with a schedule, and that will at least get me out of the house once a day!

Now, back to syncing audio…..

I couldn’t help but ask myself if there were aspects of this life i would miss. Sure, the airline miles and hotel points are certainly nice perks. And the daily food allowance. Quite honestly, I sleep better in a hotel room than I do at home, because I don’t have dogs crawling all over me and wanting out at 3am.

But then knowing I am almost done traveling is what is getting me through these next few trips. I can’t wait to establish a life in my hometown, make friends, have a social life, do things, make a routine at home. I have loved being home these past 2 months.

I just counted, and I spent 180 nights in hotel rooms last year. That is 1/2 a year not sleeping in my own bed. I spent 181 nights the previous year. Needless to say, I’m ready to spend most of my nights in my own bed in my own home.

Here’s to a great 2010!